Out of the Ivory Palaces

  ‘Out of the Ivory Palaces’

Will I smell You, will I see You?

Will I sense You, will I hear You?

Will I touch You, will I know You?

And in the room, are You near me, are you in the gloom?

Are You still, or moving round me?

Are You breathing, are You smiling?

Is there joy, are You weeping?

Is Your heart beating, is it heavy,

Does it long for me?

Do You remember Your call to ‘come’?

Do You know I am here, can You feel my fear,

That I have missed You somewhere

Coming to a place where You are not?

And I am duped and here alone?

What do I do to know that this is right?

That You are, because I am?

If I am, then are You? Are You closer

Just because I’ve come through

To meet with You, were You always here?

Always near, waiting for my fingers to

reach out in faith, in darkness

To find You, touch You,

Hold You and draw near.....

I breath in.

1. Below is the hymn that came to my mind and I started to consider His Presence and wonder would I smell Him, what it would be like in real terms! Hence I ended the piece with ‘I breath in’. 
2. 
   
3. My Lord has garments so wondrous fine,
   And myrrh their texture fills;
   Its fragrance reached to this heart of mine
   With joy my being thrills.
   • Refrain:
     Out of the ivory palaces,
     Into a world of woe,
     Only His great eternal love
     Made my Savior go.
4. His life had also its sorrows sore,
   For aloes had a part;
   And when I think of the cross He bore,
   My eyes with teardrops start.
5. His garments, too, were in cassia dipped,
   With healing in a touch;
   In paths of sin had my feet e’er slipped—
   He’s saved me from its clutch.
6. In garments glorious He will come,
   To open wide the door;
   And I shall enter my heav’nly home,
   To dwell forevermore.

24th November 2017. 3.47 am. Woke up!

Found myself listening to some radio play exalting King Richard, the ‘Lion Heart’, for his victorious crusades!
The truth is he killed innocent Jews by the thousands, to regain Jerusalem for Christ? How little he understood Scripture and he was king, ruling his people, leading them on in hatred against Your people.
What shame to me as an English woman. Lord even now I am not a faithful watchman. Even now I have allowed a flow of ‘king Richard’s’ to overwhelm Your city, Your people.
There again, can anyone thwart Your plan? Your city? Your people? Your own for ever Covenanted as the ‘Apple of Your eye’?
Never the less evil men continue their attack today and cause such pain and I look the other way.
Bring me to my knees Lord, show this helpless English woman how to pray for Israel, Your Beloved, Jerusalem, the City of God, the place of Your earthly throne.

Even so come quickly Lord Jesus and take Your place.

OK! What was she talking about?

I was musing over my last blog thinking folk will be wondering if I have completely lost it!

Let me explain, I belong to a small group of Christian Scribblers, I don't get together with them very much, no time! But when I do I generally manage to write some prose or verse etc.

Well, this time we had a kind invite by one of the Scribblers to her home, Brockworth Court. I don't know what I was expecting, but it most certainly was not to walk on thick oak floors where King Henry and his second wife Ann Boleyn had trod. I am known for an imagination that is often out of control but on this occasion it went off like a rocket with a bent stick! In, out and round about until we were given our project to write for thirty minutes on 'the first thing that struck me was........' There was to be no talking until the bell would ring thirty minutes later.

I couldn't climb the stairs, too excited, didn't want the garden just wanted to sit, anywhere but quickly.

I have had such a busy year so far, appointments of my making, appointments made by others, be here, be there, quick, gotta rush, look at the time, mind the traffic, look at the que's on and on. But on Wednesday I flew down the A46,  spun into the gravelled drive (five minutes late) leapt out of my car, grabbed my sandwiches and fell into the peace and tranquility of the late 1400,s give or take a year or two! So, I found myself in a small drawing room, a baby grand piano in the bay window, a few tasteful objects carefully placed here and there and looking quietly around the room, catching my breath, there was 'silence' at last!

So dear friends, (I only have a couple of followers! :-)) the previous blog is where I found myself that sunny day.  I hope you enjoy the read and now understand more re the sense of time and place that caused me to write as I did. It was a gift from God, an appointment I felt obliged to keep not expecting Him to be in the shadows.  I hope out of the quietness of your heart, when you settle down to simply be still, you hear the lovely voice of Jesus speaking to you too.
Wherever you are He is there, it often takes someone to tell me to stop before I actually do, and see what happens! So dear friend, how about it, stop and join the hallelujah chorus in the silence!

A visit to Brockworth Court on a sunny day.

The first thing that strikes me is the silence!

 Strike seems too strong a word but taking things in contrast silence is broken with a strike! The clang of a door, I hear footsteps in the hall, I see a figure pervade my silence as someone passes the window, go away, go away! For I am struck!

Wasn't there somewhere in the Bible where 'he was struck dumb' so this is a sudden thing an invasive thing, sometimes not always pleasant. They struck the nails into His hands with fierce blows that made His face screw up in painful, unbearable grimace! This striking definitely changes what was to what is, the striking of a bell will bring you immediately from where you were to where you are and even to where you should be!

Now footsteps down the stairs, go away, go away!

Take me back to that place of awesome silence Lord, I am tired of speaking, tired of being spoken to, tired of the never ending sludge of words too quickly sliding from the mouths of people who start every sentence with 'I think' or 'in my opinion'

I hear distant conversation, go away, go away!

Strike me with silence again Lord, let me sink into its depths, like a deer thirsting for the water will slip into the cooler deeps of the running stream and stand there, soothing the body, hiding from the pursuant, resting, refreshing, let me sink to the ground at Your feet, let me smell the fragrance of Your garments, let me feel the touch of Your hand on my head for I am very weary Lord, strike me with Your presence. Meet me in the silence!

I have come to this place like Mary, amidst the noise and bustle of life, where talking never ends and distractions always crash into my life like never ending breakers on the sea shore. I have come with all my rubbish, all my cares, all my busyness, and Your silence struck me! I feel the cumbersome weight drop off like Christians burden from the story of Pilgrims Progress.

Because now my eye is on You, as the servant looks at his master and the handmaiden looks into the face of her mistress so I Look at You.

The first thing that struck me was the silence,  And in the silence Your eyes spoke and I heard you say I love you.
Your touch was like a heavy incense on my head that shouted 'I understand'.
The glory of Your presence was like the thunderous roar of angels declaring Your sovereignty  in majestic song and in the silence of this amazing moment, I bless You Lord, I break open the alabaster jar, and let the song of my heart break forth as the joyful tongue of the ready writer.

I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me. Song of Solomon 7:10

I never would have thought that yet again You look at me.
Your eyes pierce through the walls I've built, the life I lead.
I thought that this was love to serve, to give my life
To those I meet, the needy, tossed about in strife.

That this was meant for You, to please Your very heart,
But for the love of God or love of man I played this part?
The question posed was like a lever pressing into locks condemned to rust
Painfully, searingly, with determined wrench, to open is a must!

The firm determined surge of strength I know will break those seals
and as the lid breaks open what kind of treasure Light reveals?
No treasure here, and shame arises as the gloom lets loose its slime
The hidden silt of things not cleansed, not handled for a while.

I would, if let, slam shut this stinking sight
His hand prevails, with all His strength and might
His voice impresses love towards my mind...
"Allow Me child, to show what I will find".....

"And have no fear, that seeing, I will then accuse.
I will transform the damaged life to one of use.
The sludge is what remains of things now past,
Of understandings from a childish mind, which shall not last".....

"Behold I've made a new creation out of you
And have called you for my purpose, sound and true.
Know, with conviction, you are my perfect choice
without your doing anything, but submitting to My voice".....

"And I will cleanse this vessel by the washing of My Word
and you will know My love in ways you've not yet heard.
No shame, but grace and mercy paid your debt
and you can rise again in strength to follow yet"....

" 'Beloved' - let Me whisper this, My name for you.
'Beloved' - nothing that you've done or even yet will do,
'Beloved' - I have drawn you in, to dwell with Me.
'Beloved' - this, My love for you, forever it will be.

That... I may speak boldly as I ought to speak. Ephesians 6:18-20

I don't know what your weekend was like but mine was a bit of a corker. I have a couple of friends who are going through it at the moment and I dedicated some time to them over the weekend. I went to a Desiring Truth Conference which was wonderful, all about the Lords love. You do need to check out the website sometime www.desiringtruth.org.uk you will not be disappointed. But on with the story......
I had the usual cooking, laundry shopping, my granddaughter called in, we were housing a dog for the weekend as a favour to another couple of friends, (in case you don't know I do have two of my own wandering around the place). I had emails to answer and a To Do list that is getting longer by the minute. To round off events my grandson rang this morning, listening to his struggles reduced me to tears!
Right now I am sat on my bed thinking I need a rest, or should I go back on those 'knock me out' pills? The answer came 'Just talk to Me'.

Ok - Lord, you know I have a bit of a dicky ticker, you know I have commitments, you know I have a responsibility to my family, you know I have a lengthening 'To Do list', you know I have......... Before another word popped out of my mouth He finished my sentence. 'You know I have ......... A Saviour'!

What does that mean? everything! I have a Saviour! He is my peace, He is my strength, He is my strong Deliverer, He is my 'I am' - the answer to it all!

 When Christ interrupts our flow of 'pity me's' with His 'I AM' ...... Then there is nothing more to say except Hallelujah!

Living under the ........

This week I had to re visit my doctor to get the results of some tests I had undergone a few weeks back. I had little notion of what he was about to say and when I heard his diagnosis the words struck home and continued to resonate around my head for hours and hours.

I thought, I imagined, I researched, I considered, 'an enlarged heart'! What was this going to mean, what does it mean right now? 'An enlarged heart'?

The website was pretty grim, or at least the words I chose to dwell on and my imagination worked its work to top off the weight now leaning heavily upon my spirit.

The next day I resorted to prayer, by now really angry that this should befall me, did I expect this, no, yes, no. At my age? Of course! With my family history? Of course! But as my conversation with my heavenly Father continued I found a question rising in me. 'Are you going to live the rest of your life under this diagnosis'?
Let us not get this wrong! No I am not going to be unwise and live in denial of what is going on in my body but that was not the thrust of the question.  Again the question challenged my position, was the diagnosis going to dictate how I would live the rest of my life?

I heard myself cry out to the Father, 'I do not want to live under the shadow of this diagnosis'. I stopped to ponder the concept of a 'shadow'. which takes you immediately to Psalm 23 where David talks about 'the valley of the shadow of death' but this is swiftly followed by the promise of His continued Presence, the rod, the staff, the bountiful table, the oil, the abundant goodness and loving kindness which would follow me all the days of my life, and finally the dwelling place prepared for me in the House of the Lord, forever.

From verse 4 onwards it clearly demonstrates that - 'even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death' there is all the rest of the chapter on offer. Where do I want to live? Under the blessings, the promises or under the alternative dark place?

Then as with a spring leaping from the earth comes the refreshment of PS 91 'He who dwells in the shelter of the most high, will abide (or dwell) in the shadow of the Almighty'. And He will cover me with His pinions, and under His wings I may seek refuge. (v4)

Living under the shadow of His wings I will find security and standing in His presence I will bring my worship.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”
Ps 143:8

A Bit of a Wake up Call

We have just had a lovely camping holiday in North Wales, a sort of default holiday choice as I had to accompany my grandson to a GP appointment in Chester. So it became two for the price of one and we really have been blessed with some gorgeous sunshine, grand views of sea scapes, mountain heights, streams slow and fast, kind people and on and on.

But in it all was a dark cloud of concern for my grandson, some autistic traits shackle his understanding. My dear young man struggles with employment, relationships, social interaction etc. The general problems which tie up more folk than you can imagine, in reality autism is quite a big issue but often goes unrecognised making life a struggle for great, intelligent and kindly people. people who want to be given a chance, who want to contribute to society, but can't break in to the required 'norm'!

You can hear, dear friend that this affects me personally and I wish I had an answer or a wand I could wave! I have prayed, have pleaded with the Lord to bring him back nearer home, or to find him a job, to get him support or best of all, to heal him; but no answer comes forth. I get the sense that I am to 'wait' and I do manage that for a day or two and then I am back to weeping in prayer. 'Where is God in all this'? and eventually all my toys are out of the pram and I become dry, despondent, miserable and prayerless. let's call it faithless, that would probably be more accurate.

 So the holiday ends and we start off for home, long journey ahead of us, I immediately start to pray for our safety on the journey, as I usually do. In fact I generally don't go anywhere in the car without asking for the Lords protection. Having prayed I would happily drive on and be thankful when we arrive home safely.

 Today I started to pray thus, and sensed that the Lord was questioning me as to why I believe He would answer my prayer for a safe journey and ignore my prayer for my grandson. Think about it? I did! Why would He be selective? He wouldn't be! so why do I have faith for one thing and not another? Is God limited in power? Is he picky about the prayers He answers? It brought tears of shame to my eyes, repentance to my heart for my hypocrisy, and faith was restored to my heart, Faith in His faithfulness and His immeasurable love for my grandson. May I not forget this sharp lesson, may I pray differently for him in the morning. His name is Matti by the way.

I know He lives!

I'm sure you have funny little things that happen in your life, things that jog you, spur you on to action? If you do maybe you say, "well that was a coincidence", sometimes it comes as a thought and you could think "that's strange" or "where did that come from"?

Well, call me weird but I shriek out, "that's just got to be God, don't tell me He isn't alive and talking to me"!

I am going to give you such an occasion that happened only last week.

The scenario - I have to publicise the Christian ministry to which I belong, it's my job, I volunteered!
Do I know what I am doing, give me a break, I'm seventy one, by all accounts past my prime and heading towards la la land!

So I get this great idea to contact a well known song writer from my era, John Pantry, who is currently working as a DJ on a Christian radio station named Premiere and to ask him for advice. Sounds easy but I have talked about this for over a year and done diddly squat because ..... I don't know what to say, I might get laughed off the airwaves, I might be rejected, it might get me nowhere, like so many of my other efforts! It weighs on my mind like a wet rag!

Now come with me to last week, I sat down at my piano as I do of late, to play some worship songs, nothing on my mind but Jesus. It lifts me out of the clouds to another place and I love it. This had been a 'dark cloud' morning where my 'to do'list was tangled round my brain like a stray fishing net! Of course the publicity stuff was up there again taunting my peace of mind. I flipped the page and started to sing a chorus about not being ashamed or afraid and it touched the place that I was afraid to touch. I thought about the email I needed to send to the Mr Pantry and felt stronger for the appearance of those words in front of my eyes. With my hands resting on the key board I glanced up and caught the name of the song writer, you guessed it John Pantry!

I always knew God had a sense of humour and I got up with resolve to do it that very day. I did make a start but nothing looked right and so the day ended as did a couple more, busy, busy days following.

Then the story moves to the weekend when we had to drive to the office to do some electrical stuff, well not me as I am as dopey on electrical systems as I am about emails to famous people. I was driving and vehicles were pulling out in front of me, making the journey slower and slower. I was losing it slightly, a lot of puffing and blowing going on especially at a large white lorry up ahead causing all the problems. In my mind I thought, "you'll not pass that until you overtake it" and then there was a slight incline in the road and the name of the lorry rose in front of my eyes........"PREMIERE". The words came again to me - "you'll not pass that until you overtake it".
Although originally this was in reference to the traffic jam, I knew that actually this was about the email I had to write, for heavens sake what is my problem, I need to get passed this and that will only happen when I overtake the fear and head again for the open road.

You get my drift surely? Don't tell me that God does not exist, is not concerned about our very lives and the issues we face daily, squirty though they may sometimes seem. Don't tell me He is not alive and living in the moment, my moment! We miss these moments because we don't expect Him to hear our bleating, or maybe get just too wrapped up in ourselves to notice His promptings through a day.

It's Monday now, email not written yet because I am talking to you, but it is at the top of the list and I am not afraid.

His love searches our hearts

A while back I was considering how it must have felt that night when the Lord, captive and beaten, walking across the courtyard caught the eyes of Peter who so bravely had spoken only a short while before, of his resolute desire to stand close to His Lord.  How that gaze reached to his very soul causing many tears of sadness. It caused me to write some thoughts of my own:

I never would have thought that yet again you look at me 
Your eyes pierce through the walls I've built, the life I lead
I thought that this was love, to serve, to give my life
to those I meet, the needy, tossed about in strife?

That this was meant for You, to please Your very heart,
but for the love of God or love of man I played this part?
The question posed was like a lever pressing into locks condemned to rust
painfully, searingly with determined wrench to open, is a must.

The firm determined surge of strength I know will break the seals
and as the lid falls open what kind of treasure it reveals.
No treasure there, the shame arises as the gloom lets loose its slime
the hidden silt of things not cleansed, not handled for a time.

I would, if let, slam shut this opening sight
His hand prevailed, with all His strength and might.
His voice impresses love towards my mind
'Allow Me child, to show you what I find.

'And have no fear that seeing, I will then accuse
I will transform the damaged life to one of use.

This sludge is what remains of things now past
of understandings from a childish mind which must not last'.

'Behold I've made  a new creation out of you
and I have called you, to a purpose sound and true.
knowing with conviction you are My perfect choice
without you doing anything but submitting to My voice'.

'And I will cleanse this vessel by the washing of the Word
yet, you will know My love for you in ways not heard.
no shame, but grace and mercy paid your debt
and you can rise again in strength to follow yet'.

'Beloved, let Me whisper this My name for you
Beloved, nothing that you've done or even yet will do
will separate you from this place so near to Me
Beloved, this My love for you, forever it will be'.

Rosie 2016

Spurgeon says it all.....

"Martha was cumbered about much serving."
Luke 10:40

Her fault was not that she served: the condition of a servant well becomes every Christian. "I serve," should be the motto of all the princes of the royal family of heaven. Nor was it her fault that she had "much serving." We cannot do too much. Let us do all that we possibly can; let head, and heart, and hands, be engaged in the Master's service. It was no fault of hers that she was busy preparing a feast for the Master. Happy Martha, to have an opportunity of entertaining so blessed a guest; and happy, too, to have the spirit to throw her whole soul so heartily into the engagement. Her fault was that she grew "cumbered with much serving," so that she forgot him, and only remembered the service. She allowed service to override communion, and so presented one duty stained with the blood of another. We ought to be Martha and Mary in one: we should do much service, and have much communion at the same time. For this we need great grace. It is easier to serve than to commune. Joshua never grew weary in fighting with the Amalekites; but Moses, on the top of the mountain in prayer, needed two helpers to sustain his hands. The more spiritual the exercise, the sooner we tire in it. The choicest fruits are the hardest to rear: the most heavenly graces are the most difficult to cultivate. Beloved, while we do not neglect external things, which are good enough in themselves, we ought also to see to it that we enjoy living, personal fellowship with Jesus. See to it that sitting at the Saviour's feet is not neglected, even though it be under the specious pretext of doing him service. The first thing for our soul's health, the first thing for his glory, and the first thing for our own usefulness, is to keep ourselves in perpetual communion with the Lord Jesus, and to see that the vital spirituality of our religion is maintained over and above everything else in the world.

Written by Spurgeon (morning & evening - Jan 24)

Simply breathing

Is your life so busy, so pressured that you feel you are on the verge of 'losing it'?
This is where I found myself and speaking to friends and family I found I was not alone in this.
Every two minutes, floods of tears, exploding with frustration about seemingly impossible situations.

It takes an intervention of God to bring His take on the problem, His Light to illumine the next step!

I had just rushed from the hectic schedule to my Pilates class. If you know about these exercises you will know that they are very much around breathing. Deep breath in, then slowly out as you exert the effort of moving that part of you body as per instruction. Breath in, then raise the leg on the out breath. In when you drop the arm, out when you lift it. Got it?
At the end we simply relax our bodies on the floor and breath deeply, in and out and in and out very slowly, very deeply. We get up from the floor refreshed and ready to face the world again.

It is cold outside when I leave, I feel pretty good about myself walking down the pathway towards the car. Then I sense the Lord speaking in my ear. 'If you would take life like this, with Me. Take Me in on the deep 'in breath' and then exert the effort with the strength of that 'in breath' gently using the oxygen of My Holy Spirit, My Word to complete the necessary movement. View every task as an individual movement, effort'.

I understood in a flash what He was saying but this is not so easy to explain to another. Then I was reminded how I try to swim, it's laughable.
Although I like the sense of weightlessness and movement in swimming I am not good at it, in fact I can't really swim! This is what I do.....

I take a deep breath, hold it and push off the side of the pool, take one stroke, two strokes, three, four, five but in this I have not breathed more than once! All that effort on one breath means that I arrive back on the surface having moved only a couple of feet, I am gasping and struggling for breath and in great danger of drowning. Hence I never attempt to go into the deep water, too dangerous for someone who expects to swim the channel on one breath!

Do you get my drift folks, we expect to get through our days on one breath of God, when He had sufficiency to give us a new breath for every stroke, for every necessary effort to get the job done. We can't move an inch without breathing, but that does mean one breath after another.
Masses of effort on one breath means we are more than likely to get into a mess, a drowning situation, dangerous!

I am now trying to take the first 'in take' of Christ at the start of the day, take one task as though it was one stroke in the sea of life, then coming up for another 'in take' before starting my next task. Regular breathing is the key to life, dah! And He is the breath of my life!

So away with trying to do everything in the flesh, it's not possible without drowning in the swell!

Pilates is all about strengthening your inner core, need I say more!